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Nation Debates Extremely Complex Issue of Children Firing Military Weapons August 31, 2014

Posted by rogerhollander in Children, Gun Control/Violence, Humor.
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Roger’s note: Last week a nine year old girl from New Jersey was on vacation with her family in Arizona where she was taken to a gun range (the Last Stop shooting range) by her parents where she was given a Uzi sub-machine gun to fire at a target.  Something went wrong, probably with the weapon’s recoil, and she occidentally shot and killed the instructor at her side.  Unlike the article below, I am not making this up.

 

AUGUST 28, 2014

BY ANDY BOROWITZ
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CREDIT PHOTOGRAPH BY SVEN NACKSTRAND/AFP/GETTY
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Across the United States on Wednesday, a heated national debate began on the extremely complex issue of children firing military weapons.

“Every now and then, the nation debates an issue that is so complicated and tricky it defies easy answers,” says pollster Davis Logsdon. “Letting small children fire automatic weapons is such an issue.”

Logsdon says that the thorny controversy is reminiscent of another ongoing national debate, about whether it is a good idea to load a car with dynamite and drive it into a tree.

“Many Americans think it’s a terrible idea, but others believe that with the correct supervision, it’s perfectly fine,” he says. “Who’s to say who’s right?”

Similar, he says, is the national debate about using a flamethrower indoors. “There has been a long and contentious national conversation about this,” he says. “It’s another tough one.”

Much like the long-running national debates about jumping off a roof, licking electrical sockets, and gargling with thumbtacks, the vexing question of whether children should fire military weapons does not appear headed for a swift resolution.

“Like the issue of whether you should sneak up behind a bear and jab it with a hot poker, this won’t be settled any time soon,” he says.

Economics 101: Republican Style August 15, 2014

Posted by rogerhollander in Economic Crisis, Republicans, Right Wing.
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federal-vs-famiily-budget

The Cost of Lower Prices August 1, 2014

Posted by rogerhollander in Capitalism, Labor.
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Roger’s note: human beings are both producers and consumers.  As consumers we enjoy a good bargain.  As producers we NEED a decent job.  Collectively labor should always trump consumption, although we are seduced by lower prices to betray the solidarity essential to the human community of producers (i.e. those of us who work for a living, which is the 99 percent).  This cartoon shows us graphically how capitalist economy is destructive of the human community, in this case globally.

 

factory-deaths-675

Blessed Event July 15, 2014

Posted by rogerhollander in Humor.
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bor140714

Sign Language: Dazzled by Atrocity’s Distant Mirror June 4, 2014

Posted by rogerhollander in Africa, Nigeria.
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Roger’s note:

‘”Bring back our girls!” The girls who were kidnapped from that place somewhere in Africa by that group I’d never heard of before the story about this thing was on the news and started trending on Twitter. They took “our girls,” the girls who belong to us — our girls, the girls we have cared about for so long, living there in that country in Africa where nothing has ever happened until this thing happened and got tweeted about the other night’

Here you have it.  An example of the mass media inspired in depth analysis of a world event.  I think it’s like really cool, like.

(about the author)   

OpEdNews Op Eds 6/3/2014 at 15:58:16


Bring Back Our Girls
(image by Marie Claire)
Can you see me? Can you see me? I’m holding up a sign. It’s a sign expressing my outrage at an atrocious event in a country far away. It’s a sign showing my solidarity with the victims of violent extremism.

I took a picture of myself with this sign. I posted the picture on social media, so everyone can see it, so everyone can know how outraged I am at this thing that has happened that I heard about on the news. I want everyone to know that I am taking responsibility — no, I am taking ownership of this situation. It is happening to me just as certainly as it is happening to the victims. In fact, the victims actually belong to me. They are “ours” — that’s what my sign says.

“Bring back our girls!” The girls who were kidnapped from that place somewhere in Africa by that group I’d never heard of before the story about this thing was on the news and started trending on Twitter. They took “our girls,” the girls who belong to us — our girls, the girls we have cared about for so long, living there in that country in Africa where nothing has ever happened until this thing happened and got tweeted about the other night.

And when I saw other people were taking pictures of themselves holding up a sign about “our girls” — including Michelle Obama; how cool was that! — I downloaded a sign from this website and printed it out and I made a picture of myself with it and put it on the internet to make that group give me back the girls who belong to me and the other people who made signs about this thing.

Then I saw somebody on Facebook said there was this rally for the girls who belong to us because we have always cared about people like them so deeply for so long — anyway, there was this rally down at the park to show that group that sounds like that Sixties band but of course is actually much worse than them that their evil will not stand. And they said that Anne Hathaway — from Les Mis! — was going to be at the rally with a megaphone and one of the signs like the one I’d made a picture of myself holding and put on the internet, where I hope you’ve seen it and retweeted it to all your friends.

And so I went down to the park and sure enough there was Anne, with a megaphone and this great Mexican-looking scarf and some really killer designer shades and she was standing next to her husband, who was holding a sign telling the Bokos to bring back our girls — because they are our girls just as much as they are the girls of that country where this thing happened — and Anne is shouting into the megaphone, asking all of us: “Do we agree with these cowards?”

And do you know what? There was not a single person in the whole crowd who agreed with raiding a school and kidnapping girls and holding them captive. Not even one person agreed. And so we shouted back to Anne: “No, Anne, we don’t agree!” And while we shouted we waved our signs about bringing back our girls, and took pictures of each other waving our signs and then posted those pictures on the internet. And that showed those Harum Scarum people that they cannot keep what belongs to us — those girls from that place — because we care so much and we do not accept violent extremism in any form.

But hey, L.A. was a great place to stand up for human rights that week. The night before the thing with Anne Hathaway and our girls, President Obama himself was in town, at the Hyatt in Century City. Some kind of Holocaust foundation thing was giving him an award as an “Ambassador for Humanity” for all his efforts to protect human rights.

I wasn’t invited of course and anyway, I was printing out my sign that night and taking my picture, but I saw on the internet that all kinds of important people were there, like Steven Spielberg and Liam Neeson (the German guy who saved all the Jews) and Kim Kardashian and also even Bruce Springsteen. And Obama gave a speech and got all choked up talking about our girls in Africa and in Syria, I think; or maybe it was Iraq, but I don’t think he mentioned Iraq.
I did see way down in the Twitter feed about the story — people had been tweeting the jokes Conan O’Brien made at the award thing — somebody started talking about Yemen, I think it was, and droning on about drones and death squads or something but then they got blocked because the feed was meant to be honoring the president for protecting human rights, not ragging on the guy about every little thing.

I think it would have been cool if the President had held up a sign that night about our girls like Michelle did, but of course it was a solemn occasion — except for Conan’s funny bits! — about respecting the sacredness of all human life. But I know he was holding a sign in his heart and like Anne Hathaway was not agreeing with those cowards killing people and terrorizing innocent lives.

Chris Floyd is an American journalist. His work has appeared in print and online in venues all over the world, including The Nation, Counterpunch, Columbia Journalism Review, the Christian Science Monitor, Il Manifesto, the Moscow Times and many (more…)

Can you see me? Should I post it again?

Stop and Kiss: NYPD Need to Chill December 10, 2013

Posted by rogerhollander in Criminal Justice, Humor, New York, Racism.
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Roger’s note: Who says the New York City police are racist?  Watch this video and see how affectionate they can be with the unpleasant minorities that clutter up their (once) lily white city.

 

 

by Abby Zimet

Mayor Bloomberg is defending his city’s controversial stop-and-kiss program whereby the NYPD can kiss anyone – often black and Latino – they think looks suspicious. Great video from The Onion, which apparently many dismayed people have never heard of.

The Wizard of Oz is 70 years old. September 22, 2013

Posted by rogerhollander in Humor, Political Commentary.
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photo[2]

Obama Aides Indicate He May Tell Truth September 15, 2013

Posted by rogerhollander in Barack Obama, Humor.
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s_500_politicalfilm_files_wordpress_com_0_uncle-barack-he-watchesUncle Barack by Political Film Blog

By (about the author)

September 15, 2013, http://www.opednews.com/

 

(Washington) In a radical departure from official White House policy, unnamed sources within the Executive have suggested that President Barack Obama may be preparing to utter true statements, sometime in the short term.

 

Uncharacteristically candid revelations hint that bypassing the wall of secrecy and over classification of intelligence may be necessary to sway skeptical Americans. Polls of the President’s truthfulness have fluctuated from 62% trustworthiness in 2009 to 0.62% today, a difference of two levels of magnitude.   Individuals who trust the President’s statements are largely confined to state mental health facilities, making interviews difficult to obtain prior to publication.

 

The estate of President Richard Nixon weighed in on the matter, coming to the defense of the President.   “When the president does it, that means it is not illegal,” said a Nixon spokesman.   President Obama, hoping that Americans’ recollections of the disgraced Nixon have faded, after nearly half a century of revisionism, welcomed the move as a legal defense against charges of perjury, lying to congress, propaganda, deception and fabricating false flag terrorism in the Syrian conflict.

 

Asked why America was so intent on aiding and abetting the Al Qaeda offshoot Al Nusra Front, which is technically designated a terrorist organization by the US, the president responded, “You’re off the script.”

 

A scuffle in the White House press room led to one journalist being removed by black clad security personnel without explanation.   Off the record, several of the reporters present recall hearing gunfire shortly afterward, although none could give any more detail.

 

In lighter news, America’s beloved freedom fighters have liberated a second Christian village in Syria, and have promised not to behead any of the infidels who refuse to convert to Sunni Islam.   The President praised this development as a positive sign that the Syrian Jihadists are coming out of their 7th century mindsets and perhaps moving forward into the 8th or even 9th.   Mr. Obama said that such historical progress cannot pass without a moment of reflection and congratulation to the heroic Syrian rebels.

 

Obama’s Director of Imperial Marketing, whom some of the journalists present suspected of being a DARPA developed robot drone in humanoid form, said, “East Asia has always been at war with Oceania.”

 

Cryptic news indeed, as the reporters struggled to identify the two warring nations on their SmartPhones.   Obama’s Marketing Director then pointed to Youtube as proof that, “Syria bad. We good. Syria bad.   We good,” repeating the phrase for several minutes until a group of technicians entered the press briefing to remove the Director in mid utterance.   Such odd behavior led some to question the spokesman’ humanity, leading to a new raft of conspiracy theories floated out across the web.

 

The administration, sensing a probable public relations imbroglio went into damage control mode.   The President appeared on a large video teleconference screen, staring down at the journalists in a formidable posture.

 

“Oceania has always been at war with East Asia,” said Mr. Obama.   “That is your top headline story, and so you be sure to type it out correctly.”

 

The visibly shaken press corps dutifully nodded in unison.

 

The President continued, “Our administration is only capable of telling the truth.   Write that down.”

 

The President issued his directives, and we are happy to report that God has smiled on our glorious land, an exceptional land of happiness and joy.   All is well, as it always is in our land of greatest freedom where our beloved President looks out for us, and would never lie to us.   Such joy it brings to report this good news to you, dear readers.   Enjoy your wonderful day of supreme elation, knowing that we are right and just and good.   President Obama has made that quite clear.

 

 
Author of HELL OF A DEAL: A Supernatural Satire, a tale of Hollywood’s accommodation with torture and (more…)

Evo Morales: He Would Have Told It As It Is August 28, 2013

Posted by rogerhollander in Europe, Imperialism.
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Roger’s note: please read the caveat just below the photo.

http://www.opednews.com

Evo Morales Ayma  President of Bolivia
Statement of President Evo Morales Ayma to the gathering of Heads of State of the European Community, (06/30/2013).

 

With simple words, simultaneously translated, President Morales spoke to more than one hundred Heads of State and dignitaries of the European Community:
From http://www.flickr.com/photos/10383800@N08/7671511644/
by greg.road.trip

Editor’s note: We’re not sure this is really a speech by Evo Morales, but it’s so good it’s worth reading because it’s something he could say.

Well, here am I, Evo Morales. I have come to meet those who celebrate the encounter.
Well, here am I, a descendant of those who populated America forty thousand years ago.  I have come to meet with those who discovered her only 500 years ago.
Well then, here are we all.
We know who we are, and that is a lot.
We will never have anything else.
A European brother, a customs officer, asks me for a written paper with a visa to be able to discover those who discovered me.
A European brother, a usurer, asks me for payment of a debt contracted by Judas, whom I never authorized to sell me.
The European brother pettifogger explains to me that all debts are to be paid with interest, even when human beings and whole countries are sold without asking for their consent.
I am discovering you now .
I, too, can demand repayment, and can also demand interest.
In the Archives of Indies, there is written, page after page, receipt after receipt, signature after signature, that between the years of 1503 and 1660 alone,185,000 kilograms of gold and 16 million kilograms of silver were brought from America to San Lucas de Barrameda.
Plundering?
I will not believe that!
Because that would mean thinking that the Christian brothers betrayed their Seventh Commandment.
Pillaging?
Save me Tanatzin, from supposing that the Europeans, like Cain, would kill, and deny the blood of their brother!
Genocide?
That would mean to credit the slanderers, such as Bartolome de las Casas, who define the encounter as the destruction of the Indies, or to extremists such as Arturo Uslar Pietri, who affirms that capitalism and the present European civilization derive from the flood of precious metals!
No!
Those 185,000 kilograms of gold and 16 million kilograms of silver must be considered as the first of many friendly loans from America, destined for the development of Europe.
To say otherwise would be to assume the existence of war crimes, which would give us the right not simply to demand their immediate return, but also indemnification for damages.
I, Evo Morales, prefer to opt for the least offensive of these hypotheses.
Such fabulous exportation of capital was nothing more than the beginning of a “MARSHALLTESUMA” plan to guarantee the reconstruction of barbarian Europe, ruined by her deplorable wars against the learned Moslems, who had created algebra, polygamy, daily baths, and other superior advances of civilization.
This is why, celebrating the Fifth Centenary of the Loan, we can ask ourselves:  Have our European brothers made a rational, responsible, or at least a productive use of the funds so generously advanced to them by the International Indo-American Fund?
We hate saying no.
On the strategic side, they wasted it in the battles of Lepanto, the  Invincible Armies, in the Third Reichs and other forms of mutual extermination, with no destiny other than to end up occupied by the NATO gringo troops, as in Panama, but without the channel.
On the financial side, they have been incapable, after a 500 year moratorium, of repaying the capital and its interest, and of becoming free from the liquidated rents, the raw materials and cheap energy that has come to them from all over the Third World..
This deplorable picture corroborates what Milton Friedman affirms, according to which a subsidiary economy can never function, and  it forces us to reclaim, for their own benefit, the re-payment of the capital and interest that we have so generously delayed collecting for all these centuries.
Saying this, we clarify that we will not lower ourselves to charge to our European brothers the vile and bloody rates of 20 and even 30 percent interest, that the European brothers charge the peoples of the Third World.
We will limit ourselves to demanding the return of the advanced precious metals, plus the modest fixed interest of 10 %, accumulated only during the last 300 years, with a 200 year grace period.
On this basis, and applying the European formula of compound interest, we inform the discoverers that they owe us, as first payment of their debt, a mass of 185,000 kilograms of gold and 16 million kilograms of silver, both amounts raised to the 300th power.
This is to say, a number for whose total expression would require more than 300 digits, and one that easily surpasses the whole weight of planet Earth.
Those masses of gold and silver are pretty heavy.
How heavy would they be if they were calculated in blood?
To suggest that Europe, in half of a millennium, has not been able to generate enough wealth to repay a modicum of interest, would be to admit her absolute financial failure and/or the demented irrationality of the capitalist presumptions.
Such metaphysical questions, after all, do not matter to us Indo-Americans.
But we do demand the signing of a Letter of Intent, that may discipline the debtor peoples of the Old Continent, and force them to fulfill their commitments through a rapid privatization or re-conversion of Europe, that allows them to completely turn her over to us, as a down payment of the historical debt.
   Evo Morales Ayma
President of Bolivia
Free translation from the Spanish sent by
Winston Orrillo,  orrillowinston@gmail.com , via
Nicaragua Socialista,  Nicaragua_Socialista@yahoogroups.com ,
done at REFUGIO DEL RIO GRANDE, Texas, EE.UU.

Appeal of Conscience Foundation Awards Bad Behavior: Stephen Harper’s Richard Nixon Prize October 2, 2012

Posted by rogerhollander in Canada, Foreign Policy, Humor.
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by YVES ENGLER

At a ceremony in New York today the Appeal of Conscience Foundation will present Stephen Harper with its World Statesman of the Year award. Former U.S. secretary of state Henry Kissinger will deliver the prize.

Canada’s Prime Minister is really racking up the hardware. This morning a coalition of international and community groups announced that Harper has won the first ever Richard Nixon Prize. The award is given to a leader for pursuing “principled, forthright and steadfast international policies in the interests of the rich and powerful, regardless of the consequences” to everyone else.

The decision to grant Harper the Richard Nixon Prize was made after a thorough review of his foreign policy.

The grantees cited Harper’s “consistent backing of the interests of North America’s top 1% of income earners, with a special emphasis on supporting those who make their billions from resource extraction, weaponry and banking.”

The committee applauded Harper for bombing Libya into democracy. It took special note that this was probably also good for certain oil and gas interests.

“In the best tradition of Richard Nixon who could always keep a straight face,” the committee praised Harper for at the same time “standing by Egypt’s Hosni Mubarak until the final hours of his 30-year presidency.”

In Afghanistan the Prime Minister has stayed committed to war even though most Canadians want to bring the troops home, the prize committee said in a statement. Harper’s decision to continue to deploy 1,000 troops as well as special forces is exactly what America’s 37th president would have done. “Canadian special forces play an important role in US-led nighttime assassination raids. When a parliamentary committee began asking inappropriate questions about Afghan detainees Harper refused to buckle and simply closed shop,” said the committee’s statement. “Richard Nixon would have been proud.”

The committee also analyzed several more obscure aspects of Harper’s international policy.

“We applaud Canada’s decision to send 2,000 troops to Haiti days after the 2010 earthquake. It took real courage to send troops to ‘secure order’ for Haiti’s elite when many other countries misguidedly focused on search and rescue teams to pull injured people from under rubble.”

Despite Harper’s Conservative government being the biggest backer of the world’s mining industry, ordinary Canadians just don’t understand how valuable this is to the wealthy, the committee said. “We appreciate the Prime Minister’s commitment to advancing Canadian mining companies’ interests abroad. All investors benefit.”

As for calls that Ottawa should regulate Canadian mining corporations’ behavior abroad, “Conservative officials have repeatedly pointed out that most companies have corporate social responsibility programs to take care of any problems they may face with noisy indigenous communities in Latin America or elsewhere. That’s exactly the position Richard Nixon would have taken.” The prize committee also noted that many of the individuals running big Canadian mining companies are good people who fund university programs, think tanks and other initiatives designed to defend the way of life of the 1%.

As for one of the most controversial foreign affairs issues he’s dealt with Harper’s made a simple – and correct – calculation, the committee said. While almost the entire world backs the Palestinians in their bid for a small state, why should we? As Richard Nixon certainly believed, Canada’s job is to support the United States and the West, in that order.

Finally, the Richard Nixon Prize grantees said they thoroughly support Harper’s international environmental policy. “The Prime Minister has firmly challenged those in Washington and Europe who call the tar sands “dirty oil”. At international climate negotiations Harper has made the tough decision to support more carbon in our atmosphere rather than simply accede to an overwhelming international consensus. His government repeatedly blocked climate negotiations and withdrew Canada from the Kyoto protocol, what he once correctly called a ‘socialist scheme’ to suck money out of rich countries.”

The Richard Nixon Prize will be given to Prime Minister Harper the next time he visits Honduras, where he helped overthrow the elected president, who was such a pain in the ass.

Yves Engler’s latest book is Lester Pearson’s Peacekeeping: the truth may hurt.

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