jump to navigation

Blessed Event July 15, 2014

Posted by rogerhollander in Humor.
Tags: , , , , , ,
add a comment

bor140714

A Genuine Christian American Capitalist Thanksgiving November 27, 2012

Posted by rogerhollander in Humor.
Tags: , , , , , , ,
add a comment

Appeal of Conscience Foundation Awards Bad Behavior: Stephen Harper’s Richard Nixon Prize October 2, 2012

Posted by rogerhollander in Canada, Foreign Policy, Humor.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
add a comment

by YVES ENGLER

At a ceremony in New York today the Appeal of Conscience Foundation will present Stephen Harper with its World Statesman of the Year award. Former U.S. secretary of state Henry Kissinger will deliver the prize.

Canada’s Prime Minister is really racking up the hardware. This morning a coalition of international and community groups announced that Harper has won the first ever Richard Nixon Prize. The award is given to a leader for pursuing “principled, forthright and steadfast international policies in the interests of the rich and powerful, regardless of the consequences” to everyone else.

The decision to grant Harper the Richard Nixon Prize was made after a thorough review of his foreign policy.

The grantees cited Harper’s “consistent backing of the interests of North America’s top 1% of income earners, with a special emphasis on supporting those who make their billions from resource extraction, weaponry and banking.”

The committee applauded Harper for bombing Libya into democracy. It took special note that this was probably also good for certain oil and gas interests.

“In the best tradition of Richard Nixon who could always keep a straight face,” the committee praised Harper for at the same time “standing by Egypt’s Hosni Mubarak until the final hours of his 30-year presidency.”

In Afghanistan the Prime Minister has stayed committed to war even though most Canadians want to bring the troops home, the prize committee said in a statement. Harper’s decision to continue to deploy 1,000 troops as well as special forces is exactly what America’s 37th president would have done. “Canadian special forces play an important role in US-led nighttime assassination raids. When a parliamentary committee began asking inappropriate questions about Afghan detainees Harper refused to buckle and simply closed shop,” said the committee’s statement. “Richard Nixon would have been proud.”

The committee also analyzed several more obscure aspects of Harper’s international policy.

“We applaud Canada’s decision to send 2,000 troops to Haiti days after the 2010 earthquake. It took real courage to send troops to ‘secure order’ for Haiti’s elite when many other countries misguidedly focused on search and rescue teams to pull injured people from under rubble.”

Despite Harper’s Conservative government being the biggest backer of the world’s mining industry, ordinary Canadians just don’t understand how valuable this is to the wealthy, the committee said. “We appreciate the Prime Minister’s commitment to advancing Canadian mining companies’ interests abroad. All investors benefit.”

As for calls that Ottawa should regulate Canadian mining corporations’ behavior abroad, “Conservative officials have repeatedly pointed out that most companies have corporate social responsibility programs to take care of any problems they may face with noisy indigenous communities in Latin America or elsewhere. That’s exactly the position Richard Nixon would have taken.” The prize committee also noted that many of the individuals running big Canadian mining companies are good people who fund university programs, think tanks and other initiatives designed to defend the way of life of the 1%.

As for one of the most controversial foreign affairs issues he’s dealt with Harper’s made a simple – and correct – calculation, the committee said. While almost the entire world backs the Palestinians in their bid for a small state, why should we? As Richard Nixon certainly believed, Canada’s job is to support the United States and the West, in that order.

Finally, the Richard Nixon Prize grantees said they thoroughly support Harper’s international environmental policy. “The Prime Minister has firmly challenged those in Washington and Europe who call the tar sands “dirty oil”. At international climate negotiations Harper has made the tough decision to support more carbon in our atmosphere rather than simply accede to an overwhelming international consensus. His government repeatedly blocked climate negotiations and withdrew Canada from the Kyoto protocol, what he once correctly called a ‘socialist scheme’ to suck money out of rich countries.”

The Richard Nixon Prize will be given to Prime Minister Harper the next time he visits Honduras, where he helped overthrow the elected president, who was such a pain in the ass.

Yves Engler’s latest book is Lester Pearson’s Peacekeeping: the truth may hurt.

WHY DO THEY HATE US? September 25, 2012

Posted by rogerhollander in Foreign Policy, Humor, Imperialism.
Tags: , , , , , ,
add a comment

   US IMPERIALISM KNOWS NO LIMITS

The Banana That Roared August 21, 2012

Posted by rogerhollander in Britain, Ecuador, Humor, Political Commentary.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
add a comment

Roger Hollander, August 21, 2012

Ecuadorian military leaders confer in preparation for awaited British invasion, photo Ferlinghetty Images.

Citing unacceptable threats to its revered sovereignty, Ecuadorian President Rafael Correa Delgado today officially declared war on Great Britain.  With unprecedented multi-partisan support from the Ecuadorian legislative assembly (37 of its 39 parties in support, with only the venerable Whigs – Pelacones in Spanish – voting in the negative, and the ultra right NSC – Neither Social Nor Christian – abstaining).

The news was taken with somewhat as a surprise at 10 Downing, with Conservative Prime Minister David Cameron insisting to reporters in a crowded news conference that the Ecuadorians have no sense of humour, than anyone could tell their threat to storm the Embassy was merely a joke.  Ecuadorian Minister of Foreign Affairs, Ricardo Patiño, in response muttered something about “mad dogs and Englishmen,” but when pressed by reporters he admitted he had no idea what it meant.  He added, that he had also once heard something about, “no sex please, we’re British,” but again conceded that he had not the slightest notion how it related to their bellicose imperialistic history.

Nevertheless, Ecuador’s declaration of war left the British government no alternative but to gear up for another conflict with a Latin American upstart nation.  “We once ruled the seas,” boasted Britain’s Supreme Admiral, Horatio Starboard, “but we still have one of the world’s finest Navies – second only to the US, China, Uzbekistan and Saudi Arabia.  Our problem is with the size of the country.  Ecuador is a small country.  I repeat, a small country, a very small country.  We are still trying to locate it on our radar and expect success at any moment.”

Queen Elizabeth, Britain’s longest serving Monarch since Queen Victoria (Reina Puritana in Spanish), who recently celebrated sixty years on the throne (no pun intended), which the British refer to as the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee, aptly named for the Royal Family’s Fort Knox sized repository of that precious gem), has called upon the government to re-instate former Prime Ministress Margaret Thatcher (Trabajdora en Pajas in Spanish) to lead the proud nation once again to victory against an ungrateful colony and upstart super power.  “Ecuador is just another one of those bad vines (Mal Vinas in Spanish), and Maggie will know how to handle them,” the Queen stated before nodding off.

Meanwhile, Wikileaks founder and leader, Julian Assange, remains holed up the Ecuador’s London Embassy, where he reports having had no difficulty releasing or taking leaks.  “I am learning a lot about this wonderful nation,” enthused Assange, “who would have ever thought there were so many different and wonderful ways to prepare rice and beans.  They even do it with lentejas (lentils in English)!”

Assange’s enemies were quick to jump on this latest statement by Assange, asserting that it confirmed their allegations of his commitment to Marxist-Lentilism.”

Assange’s attorney, celebrated Spanish jurist Baltazar Garzón, famous for his prosecution of Chilean Dictator Augusto Pinochet, points out that the British had no qualms about releasing mass murderer Pinochet but seem to be intent upon persecuting Assange for allegedly having had intercourse without using a condom.  “No sex please, we’re British,” he added with a wry smile

The Banana That Roared August 21, 2012

Posted by rogerhollander in Britain, Ecuador, Humor.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,
add a comment

Roger Hollander, August 21, 2012

Ecuadorian military leaders in confab to discuss impending British invasion, photo, Ferlinghetty Images.

Citing unacceptable threats to its revered sovereignty, Ecuadorian President Rafael Correa Delgado today officially declared war on Great Britain.  With unprecedented multi-partisan support from the Ecuadorian legislative assembly (37 of its 39 parties in support, with only the venerable Whigs – Pelacones in Spanish – voting in the negative, and the ultra right NSC – Neither Social Nor Christian – abstaining).

The news was taken with somewhat as a surprise at 10 Downing, with Conservative Prime Minister David Cameron insisting to reporters in a crowded news conference that the Ecuadorians have no sense of humour, than anyone could tell their threat to storm the Embassy was merely a joke (LOL).  Ecuadorian Minister of Foreign Affairs, Ricardo Patiño, in response muttered something about “mad dogs and Englishmen,” but when pressed by reporters he admitted he had no idea what it meant.  He added, that he had also once heard something about, “no sex please, we’re British,” but again conceded that he had not the slightest notion how it related to that nation’s bellicose imperialistic history.

Nevertheless, Ecuador’s declaration of war left the British government no alternative but to gear up for another conflict with a Latin American upstart nation.  “We once ruled the seas,” boasted Britain’s Supreme Admiral, Horatio Starboard, “but we still have one of the world’s finest Navies – second only to the US, China, Uzbekistan and Saudi Arabia.  Our problem is with the size of the country.  Ecuador is a small country.  I repeat, a small country, a very small country.  We are still trying to locate it on our radar and expect success at any moment.”

Queen Elizabeth, Britain’s longest serving Monarch since Queen Victoria (Reina Puritana in Spanish), who recently celebrated sixty years on the throne (no pun intended), which the British refer to as the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee, aptly named for the Royal Family’s Fort Knox sized repository of that precious gem), has called upon the government to re-instate former Prime Ministress Margaret Thatcher (Trabajdora en Pajas in Spanish) to lead the proud nation once again to victory against an ungrateful colony and upstart super power.  “Ecuador is just another one of those bad vines (Mal Vinas in Spanish), and Maggie will know how to handle them,” the Queen stated before nodding off.

Meanwhile, Wikileaks founder and leader, Julian Assange, remains holed up the Ecuador’s London Embassy, where he reports having had no difficulty releasing or taking leaks.  “I am learning a lot about this wonderful nation,” enthused Assange, “who would have ever thought there were so many different and wonderful ways to prepare rice and beans.  They even do it with lentejas (lentils in English)!”

Assange’s enemies were quick to jump on this latest statement by Assange, asserting that it confirmed their allegations of his commitment to Marxist-Lentilism.”

Assange’s lawyer, the celebrated Spanish Jurist Baltazar Garzón, vehemently denied this assertion and added that he cannot understand how the British could release Chilean Dictator and mass murderer Augusto Pinochet but want to punish a man for allegedly failing to use a condom.  “No sex, we’re British,” he added with a wry grin.

 

 

 

Trust the Experts On Women’s Health, Because Middle-Aged Men Know the Most About Everyting March 2, 2012

Posted by rogerhollander in Health, Women.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
add a comment

by Abby Zimet, www.commondreams.org, March 1, 2012

 

The Senate killed the Blunt amendment today that would have allowed employers to opt out of healthcare coverage that violates their “moral beliefs” – though not without rhetoric like Orrin Hatch’s, “This is tyranny (and) discrimination masquerading as compassion” – but that’s hardly the end of the GOP war against women. Funny Or Die‘s health experts speak out on the complex subject of lady parts.

18 Comments so far

Hide All

Posted by constitutional
Mar 1 2012 – 9:58pm

Drill baby drill, no obortions, no birth control, no education, no food stamps,  just fucking pray! And vote republican of course. If you don’t believe them, just ask them.

Posted by Obedient Servant
Mar 1 2012 – 10:07pm

This video was already featured on CD.

“Women’s Health Experts Speak Out”

http://www.commondreams.org/video/2012/02/29-0

Since we’re repeating ourselves:

It’s funny because it’s true!

I know it’s true, because I’ve read comments by some of these guys in the comments at CD articles that advocate reproductive rights for women, and/or deplore the authoritarian legislative movement to eliminate, or at least minimize, them.

Posted by AD
Mar 1 2012 – 11:08pm

These con servastives are just getting too psychopathic. This shouldn’t be allowed watching for young impressionable children. Somebody has to take a stand.

Posted by plavmar
Mar 1 2012 – 11:05pm

As I said last night (to the consternation of a few), were it not for men we wouldn’t have birth control pills, breast-cancer treatments, hospitals, or even the discipline of gynecology itself.

Rather than bitching and complaining about men, more women (including those of you at CD) should be thanking them and singing their praises.

Posted by Aaronica
Mar 2 2012 – 1:15am

You might actually want to study a bit more about the history of medicine, before you make such a sweeping statement.   It’s a bit like asking others to respect the slave owners because they brought the black people to America…

Posted by plavmar
Mar 2 2012 – 3:44am

With due respect, the pioneers of medicine, as of so many fields, have been men. Consider:

1. Hippocrates, the father of western medicine: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hippocrates

2. Famous gynecologists: Ernst Ludwig Alfred Hegar, Ralph Pomeroy, Hermann Pfannenstiel, and Alan Guttmacher (google them).

3. Gregory Goodwin Pincus, co-founder of the birth control pill: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gregory_Pincus

4. H. Michael Shepard, developer of Herceptin, the breakthrough breast-cancer drug: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H._Michael_Shepard

As far as I know, none of these men accomplished what they did through the use of slaves. Their success can be attributed to hard work and good old-fashioned brain power.

Posted by Phantom_
Mar 2 2012 – 8:07am

Exactly, bashing men is sexist and counterproductive.

And you’re correct, men have been on the forefront of not only medicine but all science. In fact, the greatest writers, philosophers, artists and leaders for peace in human history have overwhelmingly been men. Think of Socrates, Da Vinci, Dalton, Shakespeare, Mozart, Wagner, Beethoven, Gandhi, MLK. The list is too long. Not to mention their achievements in sports, the list is even longer.

Posted by PostScarcityAna…
Mar 2 2012 – 9:36am

You and your companion are completely wrong- to use your lazy sophistry it easy to create division where none exists.  Men and women are part and parcel and have achieved everything together- not apart, nor have any of the persons you cite achieved anything on their own.  Every man, including children like you and palavmar, was born and created by a woman- this includes the people on your “list”.  Fuck you.

Posted by Zanrak
Mar 2 2012 – 10:14am

If it were left up to all these inventive men to make babies on their own, there’d be no people in about 100 years…… quite an accomplishment those men would make!  ‘Course, if all the men (except me) went off on this quest to prove their, uh, manhood(?), well,……… Hey ladies: Wuz up?!

Posted by Dogface
Mar 2 2012 – 7:58am

Dear plavmar: Unlike you, I have actually received the Nobel Peace Prize for my analysis of conservative old white men and their sexual mores. I am able to measure from their writings, speech, and abusive rhetoric just what their equipment is like and if and how they can use it. Your communications here tells that me your equipment is very small and most of the time ineffective. You are unsure of your place in life and dealing with the opposite sex completely unmans you, which makes you very angry. You need profession help. Viagra is useless in your case with the diminutive size of your equipment.  Please, get help.

Posted by plavmar
Mar 2 2012 – 9:49am

Makes sense: a Nobel Peace Prize having been given to someone for analyzing “white men and their sexual mores” and maybe even dropping cliches like “please, get help” in public forums.

Posted by ricardohead
Mar 1 2012 – 11:23pm

And what, as a matter of logic, does that have to do with the current attempt to deny these things to women? Looks like you believe that since men gave these things to women, they have the right to take them back. It would be much simpler if we all just went back to the Dark Ages.

Posted by plavmar
Mar 1 2012 – 11:35pm

I never said I agreed with the conservatives pictured in the story above.

All I did was point out that the editors of CD love to slam men. They can’t help themselves. Every other day there’s another silly article about “middle-aged men” this and “white men” that, as if all white men and middle-aged men thought and acted alike. That’s what you call prejudice.

Posted by PostScarcityAna…
Mar 2 2012 – 8:07am

plavmar-Fuck you.  Your childish argument is facile and callous.  In case you missed it- Fuck you.

Posted by pwayne
Mar 2 2012 – 8:41am

Yes, poor beleaguered men.  Imagine if they had the same opportunities as women, or wielded the same power.  Imagine if men ruled the world.  Then women would see that men really do know what’s best for them–especially when it comes to reproductive health.  And the world would never be in the mess it’s in now. Men would never fiddle while Rome burned by, say, making an issue of birth control while the world at large collapsed around their ears.  Well, we can dream, can’t we.

Really, I want to see examples that support your sweeping generalizations about “middle-aged men” and “white men” being criticized as a collective on CD.  Men being criticized specifically for their age and race, not for doing something mind-bogglingly stupid while incidentally being middle-aged or white.  I mean, if you’re going to make those assertions you should provide the examples up front.  Otherwise people might be skeptical.

Posted by textynn
Mar 2 2012 – 12:03am

I can’t believe we are even having this backwards conversation.  I mean really.  I feel like I need to get legal protection against eminent domain for my lady parts.

Posted by ubrew12
Mar 2 2012 – 1:24am

Why couldn’t they have passed it?  I’m an employer and I find it morally objectionable to pay for old people’s various surgeries and medications.  (/sarcasm)

Colbert: If Mormons Posthumously Baptize Holocaust Victims, I’ll Posthumously Circumsize Mormons February 25, 2012

Posted by rogerhollander in Humor, Religion.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
add a comment

WATCH THE VIDEO:

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/409086/february-23-2012/posthumous-mormon-baptism

Elie Wiesel has recently spoken out against the far too common Mormon practice of posthumously baptizing Holocaust victims–including a record nine baptisms of Anne Frank.

In his new segment on the controversy, Colbert gets in a few digs at the Mormon tiers of heaven (the top of which is only reseved for true Mormons), his own Catholic faith and a certain recent comedy film too (to tell you which one would spoil the joke), before he gets down to his retributive business.

“Right now I’m going to balance everything out by converting all the dead mormons to Judaism,” says Colbert, before he ritually circumcizes a hot dog in proxy for all the world’s departed Mormons. “Mormon Tov!” he cries.

“Don’t shit on me” February 19, 2012

Posted by rogerhollander in Humor, Political Commentary.
Tags: , , , , , , , ,
add a comment

 

I COULD GIVE YOU MY IDEA OF WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT; BUT, IN HONOR OF THE NOTION THAT A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS; I WILL LEAVE IT TO YOU TO ENJOY THINKING ABOUT HOW RELEVANT A MESSAGE THIS CARTOON HOLDS.

MY KIND OF MISSIONARIES February 10, 2012

Posted by rogerhollander in Humor, Religion.
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
add a comment

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 216 other followers